Leadership Foundations: Partnering Together to Reach Cities
Guests: Eric Garcia and Jeff Fray
Teleconference Transcript - 2/21/08
Jarvis Ward welcomed early callers. Mark Ammerman, Lancaster, PA was asked to open with prayer.
Announcements:
- Next Call: March 20, 2008 – hoping to have Reid Carpenter, Leadership Foundations of America
- CIR April 14-16. 2008 in Braintree, MA (just south of Boston): Register online NOW
Go to www.cityreaching.com for the link to register online or
www.missionamerica.org (look for City Impact Roundtable)
As part of the conference, there is an option to take a city tour to visit different ministries in Boston, part of “the quiet revival” there. It’s also a great opportunity for networking, other workshops, and challenging plenaries on cityreaching with Ray Bakke.
- Partnership Training 101 April 13-16
Jarvis shared how helpful basic partnership principles were to his work in cityreaching, calling the church together for collaborative ministry. This Partnership Training is a bonus opportunity at CIR. There will be an additional $25 charge for the materials. This training starts Sunday evening, and continues through the workshop times of the CIR. Phill Butler and Bill Sunderland of visionSynergy will lead this special.
- Redesign of www.cityreaching.com coming in March 2008 You can get transcripts of all the calls we have had during the past several years. We will post the recording of this call there.
- If you are not receiving our conference call invitations and newsletters, please email info@cityreaching.com to be included.
We are thrilled to have two wonderful guests with us today, Interview: Eric Garcia, President, Association of Marriage and Family Ministries (AMFM) and Jeff Fray, a psychologist and Chairman of Marriage Co-Mission National Steering Committee.
Jeff: It’s a great honor to be on the phone with all over you today, share passion and desire to see peace and prosperity of the kingdom of God come into our cities. We’ve come today to talk about the marriage and family fragmentation crisis, a tide that is turning. We are looking to see the marriage movement succeed in America.
Eric: It was great to have met the MAC team a couple of weeks ago. We are pleased to share what God is doing in our nation today. It’s on the front edge, if not the bleeding edge, of evangelism in America today.
Jarvis: Eric and Jeff, please give us a brief overview of both AMFM and Marriage Co-Mission and why you belief each is important for transforming the church and the culture in a redemptive manner.
Eric: First, its’ been fun to hear some old friends come online, some I haven’t heard from for awhile.
AMFM is connected with Scottsdale Bible Church. We saw needs there, made phone calls around the country, and discovered the same needs. Part of our DNA is that we are sold out to the local church. It is the sustainable force in any city movement. AMFM for last 4 ½ years has been committed to training, equipping and resourcing the church for on-going, proactive marriage and family ministry. Research shows the reactive strategy that has been prominent since mid-50s has not worked. We’ve got to ease the load on counseling centers. The church is a gateway to relational evangelism in communities. Convening training, equipping, practicing in our own church and around the country, we meet with pastors and leaders. We have enjoyed building the relationship with Co-mission, but over past year or so we have been willing to jump in on stuff together and give the glory to God, not one of our brands. The DNA of both groups is that branding is not an issue. We’re here to serve those who are called to serve marriage and family. We’re involved with leadership of CO-Mission. Jeff knows I’m high maintenance at times, so he’s free to interrupt me at any time.
Glenn: How many cities are you currently involved in?
Eric: That’s a hard number. We have nearly 125 ministry partners, some of the biggest players and some smaller players in marriage ministry. That puts us all over the country 24/7. We’re a convening association. We’re connected to 3,800 different churches in different ways. We don’t have a product to sell. We spend most of our time thinking through marriage and family strategies with churches. We’re in all 50 states. We’re blessed in that the structure side of that will change, as we move into and through 2008 because of internal stuff we’re doing. We’re intentionally getting involved with city mobilization strategies of Co-Mission.
Glenn: Could you share some stories of the impact, groundwork you are laying for healthy marriages, reclaiming marriages?
Jeff: (from a community mobilization standpoint) On the Marriage CoMisson: It came out of
Chick-Fil-A Companies’ desire to strengthen marriage and family, based on a conviction that family fragmentation has reached critical mass. Fortunately we are in a season of breakthrough where the realization in our society is settling in. The cost of divorce, for example - research is making it plain that family fragmentation is bad for the country. Co-Mission formed around the realization that if there will be a marriage movement in America, city leaders are on the forefront for it. The church is the only institution in our culture that can rise to the need to strengthen marriage and families. Many of you are exercising dominion in your cities, building alliances, have a heart for championing the kingdom in your community. This is something that should be of interest to all of us. Our city focus, some models, like the Chattanooga Story: The impact there was where business leaders came together to draw a line in the sand about family; do something to make a difference. In 10 years there has been over 30% drop in divorce, similar percentage in unintended pregnancies. It seems to be a key ingredient. So what happens in a community where you take on positive media messaging? In Chattanooga you will see billboards, message boards, and provocative messages on the importance of healthy marriages and father influence in the family. When these ingredients come together, media and churches, there are more avenues to get a voice into the court system and speak to curriculum in school systems. Almost all parts of the city have a piece of the pie to change public perception. We’ve tried to take a stance to really shift public sentiment around marriage and family, translate it into strategy led at the local city level. We are currently working directly with about 25 cities, doing best practices training events where cities have gone through a bit of screening, and come in to get training to carry out this in the local community. Co-Mission is not an independent institution but a resource to cities. We are doing research on a national messaging campaign. Media provides free or low cost resources to the cities.
Glenn: It sounds like you have developed a great organization. Do you have specific stories of lives that have been changes?
Jeff: Our church sector is focused on helping pastors develop healthy marriage themselves. We offer a retreat free to pastors to come in and experience nurture and encouragement in their marriages. We get emails about the family touch. They go home with more vision for healthy marriage ministry in their church. It’s hard to give away something you don’t possess.
Eric: Thanks to Co-Mission we were able to do training for 60 couples at the retreat center. They were church and city leadership people from 10-12 states. 3 senior pastors showed up. During the lunch period, all on marriage mentoring, we randomly paired up couples married 20 years or more with couples 20 years or less. These 3 were paired with couples they didn’t know. 2 or 3 pastors were weeping, talking about how when they returned home, they were going to find couples to walk life with them. What we have tried to do is 2-3 tiered process. It’s really ministering to pastors and their families. The natural outflow is to invest in their church families. If they don’t have it, you can hardly pass it on. When we get to the grassroots level, we are seeing entire families knitted together. You end up dealing with Jesus Christ. We get excited about the evangelism piece of that as we see testimonies coming in. We are church focused. It’s about life change. What most people have thought over the years, this is just a soft marriage and family message. Today, it’s what is bringing people to a relationship with Jesus, or a renewed relationship. We were at a community event recently. One couple came up. They had been remarried for 20 years. He was a Messianic Jew. They came up with tears and said, “You are the first ones (a remarried couple in a church) to affirm us in the ministry God has called us to. We attended a church that does not believe that divorced and remarried couples can change.” The average church today has 60% of people either living together, remarried, single parents or grandparents raising children. We’re seeing this massive connection relationally, meeting people at their point of need. We want to show churches that their communities have great need, and this is a way to do evangelism.
Jarvis: What are some statistics that are capturing the attention of church, government and marketplace leaders?
Jeff: The corporate sector produced a report. It was a summary of research on the impact of divorce and broken families on corporate America. It’s a great booklet to have on hand as you work in your city. The research shows a clear, strong correlation between productivity in the marketplace and family. Research beginning next month will be more polished study. Another by Am Family Values – they want to do a rollout on April 15 on taxpayer cost of divorce. When you go through statistics on broken homes today – everything bad that happens to kids happens much more in single parent homes - poverty, crime, high school dropout. A compelling one is if a person graduates from high school and waits until his/her 20sto get married and have children, there is a 10% chance of living in poverty. If she gets pregnant and drops out of high school, she has a 90% chance of living in poverty.
Jarvis: How would we get a copy of that?
Jeff: Go to www.marriagecommission.com Andrea, would you address this?
Andrea: We would love for you to download a copy of that from the website, or order these reports from
www.prepare-enrich.com - in their bookstore,. It’s just the cost of shipping. You can reach me by email: Andrea@marriagecomission.com or phone 404-775-8808.
Eric: Barna research found that when pastors address relational issues, their congregation engages more actively financially and with time. We are doing for the church the same research as for corporate report. The one that hits me regarding poverty is that only 11% of children living in poverty today have 2-parent homes. If that doesn’t show that God designed 2-parent homes! For reference, AMFM getting ready to address 18 different areas of marriage and family ministry to resource and help a city. Go to www.AMFMonline.com for information to call us. We’re excited to be on this call today.
Question and Answer:
Rick Stevenson, Tucson, AZ: We have desire to reach couples in neighborhood. What is best way to reach out to them, to publicize, get the word out, that we would like to do that, place our emphasis on those?
Eric: There is an unbelievable opportunity coming up second week of September. A feature film is coming out then, called Fireproof from the same group that produced Facing the Giants. It is all about marriage, a positive message, being funded into theaters by Sony. Looking at the Lighthouse Movement and other things, this is one of those opportunities you can take into your neighborhood. Take couples out on a date night, take them to the theater, and show them how Jesus Christ can impact their marriage. It will be a quality film in their theater. This is a convergence point, “How can I be different?” Get involved with Fireproof. It’s an action film, a little chick-flick, but the core is a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Jarvis: How do you see Fireproof – we’ve had Facing the Giants, Narnia, Passion of the Christ, where churches use the movie as a way of going outside the walls of the church. How do you see that in relation to marriage and family? How can it be sustained, not an event but a process for marriage and family?
Eric: It is one of those rallying points. If you look at research done by USA Today, 25% said they had someone they could confide in. Research today shows we are relationally bankrupt as much as financially bankrupt. Everyone is looking for success in relationships. There has been a 1000% increase in co-habitation since 1960. Research shows success of marriage after co-habiting is cut in half. Everyone is looking for success relationally. We see Fireproof as a chance for the church to meet people at their point of need and follow up in the local church. The event is catalytic. AMFM, CoMission and the Sony group are developing follow up tools. This will span through a church project. Show a pastor how to build a marriage ministry. Outreach in San Diego is building the evangelism support tools behind it. We want to have a great opening weekend, but in the next 30 days we shift from the opening strategy to building the tools to help city leaders use it for many weeks following with on-going models in the church.
Jeff: On the local level, leveraging the films captures momentum that you harness to your church outreach program or city initiative. As we previewed this, like Facing the Giants, this is another big step up for the Sherwin films. We are behind this. We hope it makes a big enough splash in the media to get the message across.
Jarvis: Maybe some on this call, many who are not on this call, who would like to do that but don’t know how to start. The Partnership Training that is going to be offered in Boston would be helpful in learning transferable principles. We at CIR don’t get anything out of this. Our heart and vision is to call churches together to work for sustained transformational ministry. We know marriage and family is one of the foundations of society. When it falls apart, it impacts all of society. There is a possibility that those who show up at the CIR might be able to see a glimpse of that film. Folks, you don’t want to miss this 10th anniversary CIR in Boston April 114-16.
Jim Stewart, Modesto, CA: One of you mentioned America’s Family Values Report. Is that the group that put out Why a Marriage Matters?
Eric: Yes. It was a taxpayer cost report. We will figure out how to get this information out through Jarvis. They are producing a media kit to engage local talk shows, using this study. It’s a remarkable study that puts a huge annual number. They want to roll it out and hit the mainstream media. We want to support it through the grassroots to get it on talk shows in cities, through folks like you who get it and can get it to people you know in media.
Jeff: a quick note on Fireproof. An introductory DVD is available. Call Debbie at 480-718-3020 about getting it as soon as possible. That’s through Marriage CoMission www.marriagecomission.com
Steve Wright, Tucson, AZ: I’m just curious. Do you have plans on developing a radio media campaign to get the message out to the Christian community about the launch of this film?
Jeff: That is being developed, a professional firm (not AMFM or CoMission). They are waiting for trailers to be edited. That will be coming out. We need to work with you – maybe I need to come and meet with you and Randy.
Steve: we’d like to get the message out to our stations.
Jeff: We’ll be doing some previewing stuff down there.
Maxine, Quincy, IL: How would our radio station pick this up on the film?
Jeff: Ask Debbie to put you on the list.
Jarvis asked Debbie to send a link to post on cityreaching.com
Bob Baker, Denver, CO: I’ve heard two wonderful strategies - retreats and the movie. Are there other strategies you see working across the country to move marriage and family ministries front and center, not just a footnote?
Eric: We’ve been doing research. Brad Miller will have Fireproof stuff for you to preview when you meet with him. We feel a lot of ground has been plowed on this topic for last 4-5 years. We believe God has brought us Fireproof to bring marriage to the forefront. Our goal within AMFM is to release strategy for the church to make it easy to get involved with marriage ministry based on needs of their congregation rather than offer another seminar or book. We believe Fireproof and these marriage reports, like the April 15 report converging at the same time will have impact. I believe it will be an entry point for the church. We believe churches will embrace it, along with missions, outreach ministry, children’s ministry.
Bob: We are sponsoring connection workshops, taking them into the churches.
Kipper Tabb, Atlanta: Will you cover this in August at the CoMission?
Eric: We’re going to do a marriage movement forum. We’re bringing Jeff Fray You’ll see information on the conference at AMFM. We’ll have the first release of the Marriage Resource Guide, produced for cities, churches. It will be the first time we publicly release our architecture for marriage ministry in a church.
Miami: Would you comment on couple to couple mentoring.
Eric: We’ve been blessed in our own church with couple mentoring. It‘s grown large. There are unbelievable results when an older couple walks life with you. We’re blessed to be part of it. It is the easiest part to get involved in. Marriage mentoring can be a great asset.
Jarvis: How would someone with a question get in touch with you?
Eric: www.AMFMonline.com Hit the email link on the contact page or call Debbie 480-718-3020
We’re just here to serve along with our partners.
Jeff: To contact CoMission: Andrea is our coordinator, or you are welcome to email me: jeff@marriagecomission.com or andrea@marriagecomission.com
Jarvis: Remember the next conference call March 20. Glenn closed the call with prayer.
